I’m going to be so honest here. I almost died after the birth of my first baby. Yep. Her birth was a rollercoaster of unnecessary interventions, and I ended up with Sepsis. Should, woulda, coulda. Those words ran through my mind a million times. Shoulda taken a birth class. Shoulda researched c-sections. Shoulda had a doula. Shoulda stayed home until contractions started. Shoulda told that nurse NO. Shoulda, woulda, coulda. Ugh. I was traumatized.
The silver lining was that my daughter was perfect, and we bonded easily. She had no trouble breastfeeding, and we all made it home from the hospital together…after an 8 day stay that felt like much longer, because each day was an “Am-I-going-to-make-it?” day. She was a beautiful baby. Slept like an angel. Cried softly, laughed easily, sucked her thumb, hit every milestone flawlessly. I shoved my longing for more children deep down, because there was no way in hell I was having surgery again. No way. The doctor told me I couldn’t have babies vaginally. I couldn’t even go inside a hospital, because the memories were so traumatizing.
Fast forward 3.5 years, and Emery was born at home! Ha ha ha! 🙌🏻 Her birth healed my soul, and turned all of the trauma into victory. I did it! My body wasn’t flawed after all! The days following her birth had me on cloud nine. I was full of joy. It was a night and day experience compared to my first birth. The story is detailed and includes step-by-step believing that home birth was for me! I had so much faith and peace. I had a team of women who kept me safe, and a husband who cheered me on, held me, and believed in me. Fear had left the building! It was gone. I labored and birthed in complete peace. I wanted to run around the block and yell, “I just had a baby at home!” (Don’t try this at home. Stay in bed, LOL!)
This experience is why I’m a doula. Birth captivated me, and I wanted to be part of the safety net for other women on their birth journey.
Some of you might be curious and have questions about all of the steps I took to have a home birth. Some of you might have questions about the messy parts of birth. How does a VBAC work? (Technically mine was an HBAC- Home Birth After Cesarean). How does a VBAC work in a hospital?
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